chokyu

worse than a pig.

2009-01-02T15:58:18Z

title: ......

2PM. pigs. idek.

pg

"They said today's episode was something to do with making out." Wooyoung casually brought up a topic he thought they'd be interested in.

"Tomorrow's headlines: 2PM LEADER - PARK JAEBUM - HAS A STEAMING TIME WITH A MANNEQUIN." Junho makes a gesture.

Why you little fucker..... Jaebum had promised to stay away from all the gangsta talk attained in Seattle. Not working.

"Okay then, Junho. Wonder Girls, or mannequins?" Nichkhun taunted.

Junho paused. He had a little crush on Ye Eun noona but eew, girls.

"Mannequins. Girls have coooooooties." Junho whined.

"No one's going to believe we are of the same age." Chansung gave Junho a little pat on his back.

"WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO BLURT OUT ABOUT HOW I LIKE YE EUN NOONA, AM I? AM I? AM I?" Junho shrieked.

"..... Dude, you just did." Junsu sighed.

"Shi-"

get changed within 10 minutes blah blah blah *insert producer's words* nag nag nag

They enter the room with an awkward stench trying to hide their disgust beneath humble smiles that producers found so adorably sexy and yet fake enough to deserve a slap on each on those fucking cute cheeks.

Taekyeon couldn't stand the hypocrisy and asked his manager, "Hyung, are we having samgyup as some sort of welcome party?"

Manager hyung stutters and gives an affirmation that they will not be labelled as fucking gay even after the episode airs.

".... You guys reckon I'm not giving that thing my first kiss, do you?" Wooyoung has officially been disgusted and wants to quit filming.

During the show, the mystery item was revealed and they go for a commercial break.
Nichkhun finds Wooyoung bawling at a corner and ensures him making out with a pig head isn't equivalent to making out with a girl.

"Unless your girlfriend's a pig." Nichkhun thinks he has time for jokes while Wooyoung sobs in his arms.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FAGGOTRY." Jaebum slams his fists down the dressing tables. (ow....)

"I come to Korea thinking people would stop searching that goddamned chilli's commercial on youtube when i was in fucking tenth grade and they do this to me." Taekyeon cannot believe the kind of fuckery he's gotten himself into.

Chansung came in.
"God, it felt like i was kissing Khun."

Wha-?

Everyone is looking at him.

Oh fuck

because i'd prefer eunhae porn

2008-07-01T08:22:48Z

“I’m bored.” Donghae tugged Hyukjae’s shirt.

He shrugged it off.
Hyukjae stared intensely into his portable media player.

OHMYGOD. OHMYGOD.
DAMN! She shouldn’t have done that!

He hit the pause button.

“Well, I’m not. So, leave me alone.”

Oh man. I definitely need that scene on replay.

……….

“So,”
“What you watchin’?” Donghae tried peeping over.

“Nice try,” Hyukjae flipped his pmp.
“It ain’t nemo and that’s all you need to know.” He brushed Donghae off.
“Now, run along and go look for your little friends.”
“Sungmin, Kibum, Siwon. Whoever. Just not Hyukjae.”

………

“Hyuk ah,”
“Are you bored?”

Sigh.
And I had to be the fool to fall so madly in love with him.

“No, I’m not.” He smiled.
“Maybe you should go look for Nemo.”

Donghae breathed heavily.
“Kangin hyung flushed him down the toilet yesterday when Yesung made it into sashimi.”

Tears welled up in his eyes.
Slowly, each crystal-like tear trickled down his cheek profusely.

“Hyuk ah.” He whispered.

He hit the pause button again.
“Hmmmmmmm?” he answered this time, but impatiently.
Donghae had always caught him at the wrong time.
Especially when the show was reaching its climax,

“I think I miss Nemo.” He tried to control the tears but it defied, obeying gravity instead.

“Okay. What about Flounder?”

His emotions choked him.
“Heebum had it for lunch a few days ago.”

“Uh, Dory?”

“Bada decided to join it for swimming but broke the bowl instead.”

Sheesh.

“Uh,”
“AH!”
“Have you seen Sungmin’s new bunny?”

“Pumpkin?”

“Uh,”
“Yeah~!” Hyukjae didn’t even know the rabbit’s damn name but agreed anyway.

“You don’t want me here, don’t you?”
Donghae’s sensitivity was acting up again.

You got it damn right, fish.
But he said otherwise.

“What makes you think so?”

“Because Minnie’s rabbit wasn’t named Pumpkin.”
“It was named Kyu.”
“And, admit it. You’re watching yadong, aren’t you?”
“After Teukie hyung banned you from doing so.”
“You know, I’m gonna tell on y-“

Hyukjae immediately smacked his hand onto Donghae’s mouth.
He frowned.

Just then, Donghae started looking at Hyukjae from the side of his eye.
He had that cheeky expression illustrated on his face, or so, Hyukjae noticed.
He felt something on his palm that was plastered on Donghae’s mouth.
It was wet. But it sent a tingling sensation down his spine.

Oh boy, oh boy.

Indeed, it turned him on.
He thought about what he watched earlier on.

Oh Donghae, you naughty boy!
So, I see you’ve been ransacking my yadong...

Then, Hyukaje lost his grip as Donghae had him pinned down on the bed.
Hyukjae knew this one was it.

And he’s finally being initiative.
After all these years,
I SCORE~

Being an expert, Hyukjae knew it was rude to kiss and stare.
He shut his eyes ever so tightly.
Hoping Donghae would just stick his tongue in.

Suddenly, Donghae whipped out the walkie talkie he tucked into his shirt earlier on.
Screaming excitedly into it,
“MINNIE~! I DID IT! I DID IT!”
“Ha. And whoever said I couldn’t.”
“In your face!”
“That’s 13 fighter fishies and one big sashimi feast~!”

“OHMYGOD. HYUKKIE! WAIT TIL KANGIN HYUNG HEARS OF THIS!!!” He scurried off Hyukjae running towards the stairs to meet loser min in the kitchen.

“Wait!” Hyukjae called after.
“That’s it?”
“No more?”
“The end?”
“How about a kiss?” He made those goldfish lips.
“DONGHAE, YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME HANGING ON LIKE THIS.” He cried.

“Eew. You sicko.” Donghae pushed his face away, running off anxiously to claim his reward from loser min.

“OH MINNIE~!”
“KANGIN HYUNG~!”

And just like that, Donghae had left Hyukjae to drift with his imagination. How nice it could’ve been to imitate the scene he saw earlier on.

well, you either wear under or over.

2008-04-30T07:16:23Z

What are wedgies?

Potatoes?

Oh, no.
Those are wedges, huh.

So what exactly is a wedgie?

He scanned through the dictionary twice.

All they gave was;

Wedge
n. a piece of wood, metal etc, with a thick end that tapers to a thin edge.
v. force apart or fix in position with a wedge; force into a narrow space.

He stared at the dictionary blankly.
There was no way his brain could swallow a whole chunk of words.
What's more, it already took half his brain cells trying to figure out what the n. stood for.

Maybe I should go ask the rest.

"Kangin hyung!"
?
"What's a wedgie?" He asked curiously.

..........

He asked again.
"What's a wedgie?"
"Manboobs."

"Huh?"
"But aren't they different words?"

"Well, uh. They have the same meaning."

"But-"
"IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SHUT UP I SWEAR UPON SHINDONGYUP I'M GONNA WHACK THE GUTS OUTTA YOU!"

"Kangin!" Teuk hissed.
"You shouldn't use violence."

"B-but-h-he," Kangin tamed down.

"Oh. Now I know why Yesung ran after Hyukjae with the hair dryer the other day when Hyukjae said Yesung had short, stalky fingers."
"So you were the-"

"His fingers are really short! You should've seen how-"

......

"Sungmin, wedgies, aren't your thing."
"Now, go play and read the sign."

Teuk slammed the door shut.

The sign read,
Do Not Disturb.

Following,
there were weird moaning voices coming out from the room even as he was walking further and further away.

Hear no evil, minnie.
Hear no evil.

-------------------

It still puzzled him.
He was sure the answer was pathetically wrong.

He decided to look for Donghae for a second opinion.

"What's a wedgie?" He inquired.

"Oh! That's easy!"
Donghae cleared his throat.

"Iced potatoes."

"Iced wha-? POTATOES?!" He echoed in disbelief.

"Yeah. Iced potatoes."

-------------------

Ridiculous answers.
Manboobs.
Iced Potatoes.

What else?
Frozen pumpkins?

OOH! PUMPKINS!

--------------------

"KYUHYUN-AH~ KYUHYUN~" Sungmin wandered around the rooms.

I should've asked him in the first place.
Of all the doobs in the world I had to ask Kangin and Donghae.

He found Kyuhyun in the study room.
Studying.

"Hmmmm?" Kyuhyun could hear Sungmin's screech rooms away.

"What's a wedgie?"

"It's when your undies get stu- Why do you need to know this anyway?" Kyuhyun demanded.

"Because I know it's not manboobs, neither is it iced potatoes or potato wedges. So what is it?"

"It's when uh, your undies get stuck somewhere."

"Anywhere?"

"Uh, yeah, you can say so."
Sheesh. Your undies can only get stuck where you wear them
right.....

Sungmin ran out of the room.
& emerging back,

He had his pink boxers on his head.
Prancing around the room,
he exclaimed,

"OH KYUHYUN~ WEDGIES ARE SO FUN!"

Kyuhyun stared at Sungmin in denial.

Oh man

----------------

the picture really had to be there *_*

just beacause.

2008-03-20T15:36:05Z

I like you, I like you, I like you.

He paced up and down the room with the burden of vexation.

Guh.

Hyukjae faced the mirror.
Practising for,
Well,
a lusty, cheesy confession.
Looks like there's more cheese than lust in it.

Hi Donghae.
He told himself he had to greet him with the brightest smile that could blind anyone even if he had yellow teeth.
Yellow lights work well if fuses of the white ones blew, anyway.

:D

I.. I-uh, I...
I LIKE YOU

:DDDDDDDDD Smile, Hyukjae, Smile.

"Ah. Muscle cramp." He grabbed his jaw.

No, no. Bad idea. If i keep smiling like that, he'll probably think I've lost my nuts.

NO WAY.
How am I gonna say that?
It's so, mushy and cheesy and gross and disgusting and only girls do that!

Maybe I should go have some cheese instead.....

--------

He arranged a meeting with Donghae by the beach.
Maybe the soothing sound of the waves could calm him down.
Then he thought to himself again.

How am I gonna cough it out?
Like,

"Donghae, *cough cough* I *cough cough* Like *cough cough* You."

That boy will probably think I need the doctor.

He paused.
Then murmured,
"Awwwwww, that'll be so sweet!"

The thought of how sweet Donghae might be made his heart flutter like a hopeless romantic.

---------

HE'S WALKING HERE. OHMYGOD. MY HEART. I CAN'T TAKE IT.

Talk about being a drama king.

He popped a cube of cheese into his mouth.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." He paused for a moment.
The taste of the cheese was turning into something repulsive and crappy.

"HMMMM?! Blue cheese?! I thought I bought mozzerella. Or was it parmesan? I COULD'VE SWORE THE PACKAGE SAID CHEDDAR."

Damn, damn, damn.
Before I die of embarrassment,
he dies of my foul-stinking breath.
Just when I had plan to Pucker it up, Baby!

Butterflies wrecked havoc in his stomach.
Maybe he should try a different approach.

--------

"Donghae! HERE!" He waved frantically to catch his attention.

"'Sup!" Donghae tried playing it cool.
"Sup..." Hyukjae played along anyway.

Hyukjae tried keeping his mouth shut lest he'd frighten his true love away with stinky breath.
He struggled to shut it but the silence was killing him.

"So," he asked casually.
"You like cheese?" He shrugged it off.

"Yeah. Blue Cheese."

It's my lucky day.

Before he could say anything else,
Donghae pounced on him.

"But I like you more." He said cheekily.

AMEN!

because i am childish/whacky/cracky like that.

just switch on the damn lights.

2008-03-15T05:54:09Z

He tapped his fingers in hope to murder boredom.
He was getting impatient and frustrated.

Try convincing me being 2 whole hours late for a date is pardonable.

He rolled his eyes.
It wasn't the first time Kyuhyun was late for their date.
Sungmin wouldn't have mind if the excuses were logical but the answer was standardised after the first few dates.

Traffic jam.
-

He scurried over.
Panting heavily, he apologised.

Traffic jam.

Sungmin stood up abruptly.
Try spreading some butter over it then.

And he stormed off in a fit.

Big mistake.
-

"Donghae. Was Hyuk ever late for any of his dates?" Sungmin asked casually.

"No. My Hyukjae has a sense of time." He replied, full of pride.

"So...."
"You're the one that's always late in that case?" Sungmin pried.

"Oh," He paused.

Silence.

"Go find your own monkey." Donghae brushed off.
-

Sungmin was disturbed by the fact that Kyuhyun was always late for dates.
Movies, dinners, lunch dates, even shopping!

He began to feel the insecurities of a paranoid woman.

Was he leaving me for another?
Was it Heechul hyung? Ever since the repackage photoshoot, people have been recognising Kyuchul.
Or..... Teukie hyung? Everyone's all over Kyuteuk.

WHATEVER'S HAPPENING TO KYUMIN?!

He was afraid to bring it up to Kyu.
Afraid of dejection.
Petrified of losing him.
-

This time, he arrived an hour earlier, just to make sure.
Sungmin was definitely caught by surprise.

"I'm taking you somewhere."

Grabbing his hand, they ran off.

-

"Take this." Kyuhyun handed Sungmin a blindfold.

He stared at him blankly.

"Wear it, doh."

He did as he was told.

-

Slowly, silence had engulfed the surroundings.
Everything nearby seemed to had shut up, the unsual silence frightened him.

"Kyu. Where are we?"

"Shhhhhhhhhh."

-

"Take it off."

Under the blanket of stars, lay a field of pink, fleshy pumpkins.

He looked at them, amazed.
"Omo, Kyuhyun." He choked.
"How did you....????" He was too excited to complete his words.

Kyuhyun placed his finger onto his lips.

"Happy Valentines."

-

Sungmin couldn't really remember what happened next.
All he felt was the warm embrace of Kyuhyun, and how the taste of strawberries lingered on his lips.
And how Kyuhyun whispered gently into his ear,

I love you.

damn, i miss my oneshot days. D: